What the experts say… go be kind
Kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in wellbeing…
A friend who is in a position of leadership and influence recently texted, “I won’t lie. Some days are hard.”
I won’t lie either – the snowy roads and dwindling hours of day light and icy walking conditions and unsettling reports of COVID-ual discontent, means we have to carefully choose how to manage our days. It’s not unusual to enter the cocoon phase winter feeling a little blah, but October 2020 is bringing an even greater need for mental tenacity and discipline.
Lucky me – by staking my flag in the sand of kindness and gratitude, I am connected to all kinds of kind, grateful, caring people. Thanks to all who send me such inspirational quotes, confidential notes, suggestions for reading or listening.
Another friend asked me on Monday, “We are wondering what opportunities are out there for our family to give back. Could we chat over coffee one day soon?”
My answer, “Yes! Absolutely.” And her question accompanied by an invitation, spurred me into action.
During his recent shopping trip, my husband brought home three big sweet potatoes. With that gift, I then asked him to shop for some resealable glass jars at the Hardware Store. Happily, we have a designated family shopper and he generously takes the list and executes.
With sweet potatoes and five lovely jars in my kitchen, I then found the book given to me a few years ago: Soup Sisters and Broth Brothers Cookbook. I found the recipe by Julie van Rosendaal: Tomato and Peanut Soup with Sweet Potatoes and Chick Peas.
Then, because of the generosity of a friend who did the shopping, a friend who gave me a recipe book, and friends who have let me know they appreciate my soups, I put my ideas into motion.
Wash and sterilize the jars. Assemble ingredients. Follow recipe instructions. Improvise in a couple of spots. Think about all the people who have made soup for me over the years. Think about the person who gave me the recipe book. Think about all of the other people cooking for people. Think of five people I could give soup to and…
And then, because I had some leftover lamb, a carrot and some potatoes, I kept my pump positively primed and created a second recipe for sharing – Irish Stew. It felt so satisfying to have the pots washed, dishes done and several jars full of comfort food, cooling on the counter. Presto, bingo, that feels better!
If you are feeling a little blue or wondering what to do next, follow the advice of the experts. Go do something kind. It’s written right there on page 20 of Dr. Martin Seligman’s book Flourish… a visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. “…we scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested.”
Psychologists and experts agree – kindness and gratitude are not cheesy or insignificant motivations. Self-care can happen when you are kind to someone else! Kindness is a mood booster and a motivator.
Gratitude research also says: When you make a daily list of gratitudes for 2 weeks, your levels of stress hormones will fall, the quality of your sleep will improve and your feelings of hopefulness and positivity will rise. People who commit to gratitude exercise more that people stuck in the hassled mindset.
For me, being kind and grateful primes a pump in my heart. Reading an inspirational poem or watching two ravens cuddle on a cold lamp post feeds my positive energy quotient and it gets my juices flowing.
Try it for yourself. Do something fun or listen to some uplifting music, dance in the kitchen and set yourself a kindness goal. Then act on it!
The other side of the kindness equation is to show your appreciation. If you are the recipient of someone’s kindness – be grateful. Acknowledge the gift. Say thank you. Of course, this assumes the gift is appropriate, is given in kindness and if you really do value it – savour it! Every gift like this carries a hidden message: Someone cares for you and thinks that you are worthy.
Which brings me to a third note I received this week: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more… Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
What are you grateful for? Who has shown you a kindness this week? When was the last time you said, “Lucky me!”?
