Insults and Pepper

A group of seven women and I are four-fifths of the way to winding up our Grapes’n’Gratitudes series. After 21 days of Gratitude journaling, the number of COVID cases rising, the incidence of friends and family apprehensions compounding, the decision to forego a face-to-face social time means that collectively, our group energy is precarious. Still, we are trying to tilt in the direction of positive, while giving ourselves permission to wobble as necessary.

While the future remains as uncertain as ever, the conversations and gratitude journal encouragements convince me that gratitude is a highly desirable mindset when facing ourselves in the mirror and preparing for the right next step. Especially during a pandemic.

During the series, the emphasis is on “writing it down”. Happy. Sad. Frustrated. Delighted. Enthusiastic or depleted.  The fact is, paying attention to stuff means that you are keeping your ears and eyes and nose and minds open. Another fact? You can’t remember the things you have never noticed. Taking time to pay attention is the first skill we remind ourselves to hone. During the series, we mostly rely on a pen and paper for our daily lists.

Obviously, Gratitude is sometimes buried deeply and we have to get through the weeds in order to find it. This is something that every Gratitude Group has taught me – Gratitude is there, but so are the curses, the disappointments, the hassles and insults that suck energy and leave a sting.

Thinking about Gratitude and our current State of Emergency this morning, I invented this little exercise – a DIY pick-me-up for you to try at home.

For the next week, keep track of the insults and your angry moments as they rise. Quickly tear off a piece of paper and write down whatever is burbling negatively: “I am so mad that [XYZ – the cause] means I/we need to do [ABC – the effect]”. Or “What an insult! [EFG – the villain] says I/we will have to [LMN – the consequence].”

Keep writing out your insults and stash them in an empty saltshaker. Place it on the counter at home or at work, right beside the pepper.

Shake your insults vigourously at mealtime, and then give thanks.

If anyone asks, look them straight in the eye, with a big smile and say, “Oh this? It’s my Insults Shaker. Cutting down on salt, you know.”