Between Fantastic and Fatigue
In preparation for this month’s muse-letter, I took a look at my “Journal of Words”, a treasure-trove of words and their meanings. There, I found the word “fantods” plural, a noun meaning:
1. A state of irritability, excitement, or great tension;
2. An emotional outburst;
3. A state of restlessness or unease. The idiom “howling fantods” has been described as: Stage 4 of the heebie-jeebies.
Is there a more perfect word for describing where we are in this COVID story of unfolding complexity? With a little more research, I then learned that fantods is believed to stem from two words: Fantastic and Fatigue.
My years of writing in a journal, unpacking my internal voices, emotions and reactions have me convinced that every strand of every emotion is connected to a nest of tangled realities, some that are immature and fear-based; some that are near memories, meaning, close to what I think happened; some mornings I hear distant echos and imagine future bests.
Earlier this month, my copy of Dr. Kerry Howells’ book arrived. In it, Untangling You: How can I be grateful when I feel so resentful? Howells explains ‘the amplification theory of gratitude’. “… more than any other emotion, Gratitude has the power to make the good stronger than the bad.” Dr. Howells also simplifies our reasons for feeling resentful. Resentment arise in one of two instances: 1. When someone is made to feel inferior and 2. When someone’s expectations are broken.
These past few weeks in Canada have exposed the deep hurts and resentments people are feeling: people’s expectations have been broken and some people have been made to feel inferior, because of their personal choices. Enter the “howling fantods” – Stage 4 of the “heebie-jeebies”.
But what if we consider the origin of the word and consider the space between fantastic and fatigue. In every moment before action, there is a chance to ask ourselves, “What is the kind thing that I can think, say, or do?”
During my two solid years of reading, researching, writing my book An Ecology of Gratitude, I valiantly curated my newsfeeds, limited distractions that could pull me into a negative swirl, and only paid half-attention to the COVID-conversations. Now, I am forced to realize that many people have lost patience, have lost trust in the system, are tired and feeling exceptionally resentful.
I contend that one of the kindest things each on of us can do is to find a quiet corner, a pen and take time to write in your journal. In the silence of your soul, you can coach yourself away from resentment and discover for yourself: More than any other emotion, Gratitude has the power to make the good stronger than the bad. With kindness and gratitude, our greatest fears can be calmed with joy and hope.
#Grassrootsgratitude
Know it. Show it. Grow it.
