Affirmations and Morning Pages
By the time you are reading this, Friday September 11, 2020 will be fading in the rear-view mirror.
The 9-11 numbers remind me of a confusing, unbelievable moment that dramatically altered my understanding of the world. 9-11 is a painful pivot point in my understanding of the words, hate, anger, hopelessness and terrorism.
I just took a look at my journal from that day, “Tuesday September 11 – Terrorist attack in the USA – Twin towers of The Word Trade Centre buildings crumbled. The unbelievable footage of a smoking tower and then the view of a second plane coming steadily into view, colliding with the building and an immediate burst of flames and smoke rising. Then news of The Pentagon being hit. And rumours of a fourth plane crashing in Pennsylvania, close to some major military centre. It is un-be-lieve-able. Clara is worried about her son who is there – but hotel’s telephone lines were cut off and he didn’t go out because of the dust and chaos.”
On that day, I was confused and forced to face the fact that people were so angry and desperate and committed to their cause, that they would willingly be part of a mission where a plane would deliberately crash into a building, killing themselves, everyone on board and many, many more. It was an unbelievable moment, seared into our memories.
My daily ritual of waking up, writing three pages of words, and then rushing to get the day underway, began six years earlier. In 1995, I was reading Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. Morning by morning, Cameron gently coached me through the 12 week program. After 84 days of three pages a day, I had 250 pages of words in a book, a habit was formed, and I have been doing it ever since.
Early in the book, Cameron advises to note and delete core negative beliefs by writing out your affirmations. She writes: An affirmation is a positive statement of [positive] belief… Affirmations help achieve a sense of safety and hope.
Twenty-five years ago, when I started my morning pages, I was in the thick of full-on motherhood and a busy household. We were facing financial uncertainty with two restaurants. I was volunteering at The Whyte Museum and also volunteer Chair of the Social, Health, Education sector as part of the Banff Bow Valley Study. That was a multi-stakeholder public participation process that forced me to recognized the challenge of building consensus at a time when our environment-economy world views were widening. The morning pages are a way to discipline myself to pay attention and get organized for the day to come. In times of chaos and confusion, such as September 11, 2001, they provided a moment of normalcy and calm.
The pages remain my daily reflection tool, where I can ask myself, ‘What’s happening? What needs my attention?’
For better, for worse, for richer and poorer, when certain or when feeling insecure – three pages often fill up with a string of random ideas that loosely describe a moment. They are personal, not for sharing, but over time, morning pages have proven to be an excellent tool for mental flossing.
Affirmations on September 11, 2020:
1. The sunrise was stunningly beautiful.
2. I am having fun and finding significant challenge in my writing project. I think that’s what they call ‘flow’.
3. I am going to give myself a morning off and go for a walk with our special little Flo – and that’s a good kind of flow!
Right here, right now? Today is full of hope, somber reflection, challenge… and I am off to enjoy some simple pleasures, in the company of a two year old.
